Sorry, all the deep-fried gravy they are feeding me over here renders me incapable of knowing what the hell is going on with the cool kids. Anyway, the list is muy cómica.
My favorite substitutes for originality, ctrl+C & ctrl+V, have this to say:
Hot tea with honey
Any type will do, but what you have is a spoon, some honey, and hot tea. The real deal is, it's a double delight: not just that honey is a fine, fine additive, but that the spoon used to stir the honey is removed with the slightest layer of residual sugar, and that Darjeeling-basted sweetness is pert near joyous. And that thing about local honey being good for allergies? Seems legit.
Small pads of paper, maybe 4 inches by 4 inches
Lots of times, there are things we want to write down. These do the trick.
Not moving
Because have you ever had to pack your stuff? As if there were ever a more obvious recommendation. We're embarrassed we had to say it.
A Ghost Is Born by Wilco
Sure, no risk here, recommending Wilco. It’s cool to recommend Wilco, right? Wait, maybe it’s uncool to recommend Wilco. Is it time to break bad on Wilco? You’ll let us know, right? We’ve heard this album described as “weird,” that some of the songs are “indulgent.” Whatever. Listen to the album. It’s a motherfucker, beginning to end.
The sound a large book makes when snapped shut
Satisfying to those who know it’s coming, scary to those who do not.
Hershey’s Sundae Pie
So far, we’ve only seen these available at Burger King, but if someone sees them somewhere else, please let us know. A bed of chocolate graham crust layered with a chocolate-mousse pie filling, topped with whipped cream, and drizzled with chocolate. Comes in a perfectly pie-shaped container with a reusable fork. (Spoons available upon request.)
King Biscuit Flower Hour Presents the Steve Miller Band
Yeah, you read that title correctly, we’re recommending the Steve Miller Band. A pair of recently unearthed recordings of early Steve Miller Band live shows, one from 1973, the other from 1976. Sure, today we think of him as that guy who wrote slick ’70s rock like “Rockin’ Me,” or “Take the Money and Run,” or—one of the more annoying songs of the ’80s—“Abracadabra,” but these recordings (the ’73 one, specifically) showcase why, during the early part of his career, Miller was known as Stevie Guitar. The eighteen-minute jam of “Livin’ in the U.S.A.” into “Fly Like an Eagle” is worth the price all by itself. Sounds like live albums should, with amplifier hiss, screwups, and everything else intact.
Many hours of daylight
These longer late-spring and summer days make us think that maybe having a home in each hemisphere might be a champion idea.
iPod
Have you seen these things? It’s like the introduction of the Walkman all over again. Very exciting.
Made on MTV
Low self-esteem solved through dedication, hard work, and professional guidance/support. The complete inverse of the really gruesome I Want a Famous Face.
Punching it in
When something good happens or someone says something you firmly agree with, invite them to bump fists with you, knuckle to knuckle. All the fun of giving five, but less dorky. Addictive.
Who Will Cut Our Hair When We’re Gone? by the Unicorns
Official McSwys Band of the Month for February, March, and probably April too. The awesomeness of this album should not be underestimated.
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You are a moron B! Everyone knows Wilco is the coolest bestest band in the world.