31 May 2005
15:12 - Yes
It was in fact the best weekend ever.
And yes, there are more pics on
ofoto for your browsing pleasure.
username = aklaver@meguiars.com
password = fwighere
Mel at the beginning of the bachelorette party
true love
playing dress up
I'd post more about it but I'm jetlagged and way past my 8pm bedtime.
26 May 2005
13:52 - Public Embarrassment
You shouldn't really ask me for help planning a bachelorette party because when the crazy Brazilian and I get together it's pretty damn brutal. Mel may or may not have to explain her problems about explosive diarrhea and yeast infections to random people throughout Madison in order to get her clue for the next challenge. I love the crazy Brazilian, and she hasn't even taken her top off yet.
I can't believe all the making and doing and keeping for selling and never stopping we're doing.
25 May 2005
15:12 - We Found A Rift
in the space-time continuum at the Menard's at Westtown. We also found 28 feet of wooden dowel. Wedding shopping is amazing. I also don't understand the concept of a blinker. Who needs a blinker when you can just brake? Seriously.
We gotta go buy strapless bras and fabric.
And ribbon.
For the stuffs.
(Making and selling and keeping)
I sure do love Mel Brown.
24 May 2005
09:26 - What Do You Do
When it's five days until one of your best pal's wedding and she has no dress because the guy at the bridal shop has been jerking her around for the last few months and asks you to deal with him? Ask me tomorrow. I can't even wait to give this dude the Klaver logic test, which includes questions like, "Give me ONE example," "I've never done that," "So basically you like being wrong," and the old Keep Bothering Them Until They Give You What You Want.
I'm really looking forward to it.
09:23 - Destroyer
You're right Andy, they're out of control.
Wow.
23 May 2005
23:34 - The Moment I Wanted Had Already Passed
On Becoming a Woman: A Tale of Unspeakable Dangers
The joys of domesticity, being "off the boys," and the dangers of spermatozoa and masturbation... a livejournal entry with commentary on a book for women from 1950. Skip the commentary and read the book excerts. Chapter 4, entitled "Secrets About Boys" was especially insightful.
00:21 - gezelligheid
cat's whiskers, jacob's ladder, eiffel tower, witch's hat.
what, you don't know blinking eye ?
20 May 2005
07:14 - It's a Strange Feeling
sitting in my office knowing that by this time tomorrow I'll be on my way to Bayside in a day that will last at least 33 hours. Thankfully Ace has agreed tomorrow night to serve up the same 1/2 pound cheeseburger from the grill I've been eating since I was four. Mmm...
I'll post once in a while when I have time (lappy is not happy about this).
The posts will probably not make sense.
Back in June.
BYE
07:10 - And the Winner Is...
Kinda lame.
They did, however, post the indie-yuppie quiz from the New York Post in the comments section which I will ctrl+C, ctrl+V here:
Are you an indie-yuppie?
1. Do you own a "vintage" T-shirt purchased at Urban Outfitters?
YES NO
2. Have you been "on the list" at a rock show at least once in the past month?
YES NO
3. Are your white iPod earbuds a source of pride?
YES NO
4. Do you know what "grime" is?
YES NO
5. Have you ever done a Web search to find the name of a song used in a VW ad?
YES NO
6. Do you have a Gmail account?
YES NO
7. Did "Garden State" speak to you as no other film ever has?
YES NO
8. Do you own at least one white belt?
YES NO
9. Do you have a fully articulated stance on Bright Eyes?
YES NO
10. Do you regularly read Paste, the NME, and/or The New Yorker?
YES NO
11. Do you have a TiVo?
YES NO
12. If yes, do you have a season pass to one or more of the following: "The O.C.," "Best Week Ever,"
"Gilmore Girls," "Britney & Kevin: Chaotic"?
YES NO
13. Have you ever paid more than $50 for one pair of jeans?
YES NO
14. Do you have a blog?
YES NO
15. Are you confused as to whether or not it’s OK to like Coldplay?
YES NO
SCORING
0-5: Borderline. You have yet to realize that even hipsters enjoy that Kelly Clarkson single.
5-10: On the verge, although you really, truly hate the Arcade Fire.
10-15: The epitome of indie-yuppiedom - but we won’t tell anyone about your trust fund.
Is it me or is this more making fun of hipsters than trying to identify an indie-yuppie ?
Also, I answered "yes" to 4 of the above questions.
Do you know which ones ?
Get 3 out of 4 right and win a fabulous prize !
(Seriously, you can hold me to this as I will probably see 90% of you in the next week.)
19 May 2005
07:21 - May Playlist
So I haven't loaded the Silver Jews' "Tennessee" into my itunes yet so the Tennessee tracklist isn't done. Instead ! Here's my May playlist, titled after the excellent "Tropical Ice-Land" by the Fiery Furnaces... um, which isn't on here. The playlist, following the title, makes no sense except for the fact that I really really like all these songs. Yes, even the David Gray one. Shut up.
06:28 - Meet Bob. Bob is Angry.
Bob is angry about
Newsweek.
Bob is angry about
Paris Hilton.
Bob is angry about
low-carb orange juice.
Easy, Bob.
18 May 2005
11:47 - I Sometimes Forget How You Like to Be Wrong
One of the only things that get matt emotional is politics so he’s fun to bait and debate de temps en temps…
Get up to speed with the original post here, my response here, and his response here.
***********************************************************
You’re missing the point here darling.
I am not defending the reporting. If the report was untrue, they should retract it, just like Memogate. And if they already have, great, even better. That’s already one more apology than the Bush Administration.
I am not attacking the war. Nowhere in my post did I call the war illegal or about oil or whatever else you were going on about. You already know what I think about the war so that’s not the point either.
On se calme… This is about deux trucs:
- The rightosphere jumping to put the Newsweak scandal (and yes no problem admitting it is a scandal that further damages the deteriorating reputation of the MSM) at the same level of gravity as the Administration taking military action after being misled about WMDs in Iraq. This “Newsweek lied, people died” meme, though cute in a twisted sort of way, is like a little kid who, having eaten almost the cookies in the cookie jar, tattles on their sibling for having had one. It’s just not on the same level. And good for Newsweak for retracting quickly and learning from CBS’s gaffe on the Dan Rather story. Easy to retract a story, hard to retract a war.
- More than the scale of the scandal, however, the post was about information. The hypocrisy comment was not aimed as a personal attack on you (though it appears you took it that way) but a criticism of how the Bush Administration handles information. It’s hypocritical to say “We know Iraq has WMDs, we’re going to war over it, but can’t tell you how we know” [I’m sure you’ve seen, though not posted about, the Downing Street Memo scandal which we won’t get into here] or “We can’t release the Guantánamo Bay reports on possible torture or desecration of religious icons” and then expect the media to flawlessly report the news without having some misfires. The Administration has created an atmosphere where they are so reluctant to share information that the suspicion rightfully runs high that they are hiding potentially damaging information.
This isn’t about getting one’s way, or France, or irony, or who I voted for or anything else you threw into the pot. It’s about hypocrisy and information. I’m not so naïve to not understand that the battle between the press and the Oval Office will continue long after the Bush Administration is gone and that there is a certain security invoked in keeping truly classified information classified. But to think the withholding of information from the press is more important than correcting real human rights violation concerns, not only at Abu Ghraib but also at Guantánamo Bay which is what the original story covered, is completely delusional, especially from a man like Bush who purports to value life more than anything else. If 17 people were killed because of the "incendiary acts" don't you think the government should be correcting the behavior of those who committed these acts rather than attacking the messenger ?
But wait, you’re not delusional… you’re just going to an outer space movie with your imaginary paper-skinned movie star wife. My bad.
UPDATE: She says it better than I do.
Also, rest peacefully children, all is well in blogland with mom and dad again.
06:53 - Where's "riwangulous" ?
M-W published its top ten responses to the question...
What's Your Favorite Word (That's Not in the Dictionary) ?
What a lovely bunch of vocabularians (persons who make up new words) you are! Lasterday (refers to any day before today) we squinched (action required to fit something into a space that is slightly too small) a schmiglet (a small unit of measurement) of your awesomtastic (so wonderful the words just meld in your mouth) one-of-a-kind entries into this space in preparation for today's Top Ten reveal. With so many chizzy (awesome, super, happening) creations to choose from, we admit to becoming a bit flusterpated (a state of being flustered that's so intense, one's actions and words become bound up) and fahoodled (confused, esp. when trying to think of too many things at once). We craughed (to cry and laugh simultaneously), we troddled (to wander around without knowing of doing so), and finally decided to use the schwack (a large amount) of multiple entries received as the basis for the Top Ten—this is, let's not forget, all about favoritism.
From the thousands of submissions we received, here, then, are the ten words (not in the dictionary) entered the most often:
Top Ten Favorite Words (Not in the Dictionary)
1. ginormous (adj): bigger than gigantic and bigger than enormous
2. confuzzled (adj): confused and puzzled at the same time
3. woot (interj): an exclamation of joy or excitement
4. chillax (v): chill out/relax, hang out with friends
5. cognitive displaysia (n): the feeling you have before you even leave the house that you are going to forget something and not remember it until you're on the highway
6. gription (n): the purchase gained by friction: "My car needs new tires because the old ones have lost their gription."
7. phonecrastinate (v): to put off answering the phone until caller ID displays the incoming name and number
8. slickery (adj): having a surface that is wet and icy
9. snirt (n): snow that is dirty, often seen by the side of roads and parking lots that have been plowed
10. lingweenie (n): a person incapable of producing neologisms
But you already know this because you've signed up for the word of the day to get more smarter, right ?
Ok great.
04:03 - Pot Kettle Black
In the unbelievable column this week, the right wing blogosphere is all over Newsweek for its unconfirmed report of the Koran being desecrated at Guantanamo Bay and the resulting Muslim world outrage and killings.
Newsweek magazine on Monday retracted a report that U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay had desecrated the Koran after the story triggered protests in Afghanistan that killed 16 people and the White House criticized it.
Ok, now go read
mattie's holier-than-thou reaction to this.
Now c'mon, are you serious ? This is just laughably hypocritical.
Hm, let’s see, I know I’ve seen this before... people losing their lives over false information from one source... just can’t seem to remember what that was...
Let’s take the White House Press Secretary’s quote, “The report has had serious consequences” and play a little game called fill in the blank:
"The ___ has had serious consequences," McClellan said. "People have lost their lives. The image of the United States abroad has been damaged."
Should it be...
a) illegal war
b) president
c) disrespect of Islam
d) interrogation policy lax on torture
e) total lack of truthfulness or diplomacy
f) flagrant hypocrisy
Here is what Newsweek actually said: "On Saturday, Isikoff spoke to his original source, the senior government official [purportedly from the Pentagon], who said that he clearly recalled reading investigative reports about mishandling the Qur'an, including a toilet incident. But the official, still speaking anonymously, could no longer be sure that these concerns had surfaced in the SouthCom report." Seems more like a reconsideration that a full retraction.
The only thing I find hard to believe in the quote is that Guantanamo has indoor plumbing.
And what's this ?
The Bush administration was also making its own effort at damage control, sending cables to embassies, beginning last week, that instruct them to spread the word that the United States is respectful of the Koran and not hostile to the Muslim faith.
Oh, the hilarity... yes, we're very respectful, please see this lovely photo of a naked prisoner on a dog leash.
And what else (same article) ?
[T]he chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Gen. Richard B. Myers, testified on Capitol Hill last week that the senior American military commander in Afghanistan had said that he thought the unrest there was spawned more by the country's reconciliation process since the fall of the Taliban in 2001 than by the Newsweek report.
Interesting, interesting.
I mean, it’s really great that the administration has demanded that Newsweak retract the story because the "facts" may not be directly supported… so does this mean that Newsweak can now ask the administration to retract the war ? Because, you know, we're all about freedom and justice and everything. The audacious condescension of the Administration’s and the right wing 'sphere's “Newsweek lied, people died” accusation is just really astounding.
Do as I say not as I do, I guess.
P.S. Drudge isn’t a blog.
17 May 2005
06:00 - Nervous, Hungover, Live TV
What could possibly go wrong ?
Hilarious... and somehow comforting.
16 May 2005
16:00 - Purists Beware
To mark its anniversary, a group of electronic musicians
remixed Pet Sounds. If you attached part of your soul to the original then you won't like this, but I'm not such a purist so I kinda like it.
15:59 - And All is Right with the World
Banana stands, cousins kissing, and
a third season.
Fantastic.
15 May 2005
10:44 - Blogs Imitating Media Imitating Blogs
John Stewart on um, is
meta-media a word ?
10:34 - Group Therapy
On Metafilter which made me love humanity.
Is the internet not a bastion of porn but
a beautiful place ?
14 May 2005
17:29 - Team iPod War.... Go !
From
kittenpants:
| I know this is sad and stupid and nerdy. Fuck you and stop making fun of me. So I invented a game called iPod War which is based on the old card game War, but for music nerds. HOW TO PLAY IPOD WAR The object of the game is to put your music library up against another person's - find out some secret favorites they have, and hope your guilty pleasures don't pop up in an embarassing number. Playing is simple: In the card game WAR, two opponents split a deck of cards. In each "battle," players would turn over the top card on his or her deck. Whoever had the highest card won the battle and kept the two cards. At the end of the deck, the person with the most cards won the war. iPod War follows the same guidelines. Two people put their iPods on Shuffle and play music. As each song comes up, whoever has the better song wins the battle. After 10 songs, the person who won the most battles wins the war. It's not necessary to play iPod war in person (I typically play over instant messenger). Who decides which song is better? 1. Well, there's a lot of honor system involved. Tell the truth, and don't be afraid to lose. 2. Sometimes its obvious. Like, in my world, even the greatest reggae song would never beat a DEVO song, and if you disagree, chances are I wouldn't be playing (or talking) to you. So that stuff kind of works itself out. 3. When you have two unknowns (you each don't know the other person's song) you each make a case and duke it out. Often it works like this: I may not have heard your song, but I know the band, or the style of music. If you make a case that yours is a really good song, I may give you the win, knowing my song is only okay. If I think my band is better, I probably won't. 4. Variety counts. If you have a heavy rotation of a certain band, they become more vulnerable over time. For example, I think there's hardly any bad Pixies songs, and I have a lot of Pixies on my iPod. If they come up alot during a game, it gets old. So while Monkey Gone to Heaven may be a great song, if it's the fourth Pixies song to come up in a half hour, it's not necessarily invincible. 5. If neither person will concede the win, "Vietnam" is declared (both sides claim a win, but nobody really won). This works like a tie; no points to either side. 6. Older doesn't always mean better. Yes music was exceptionally rad from 1964-1982. Doesn't mean a song from 1995 can't be better. 7. Don't demand a win on principle. (You say: "But the Rolling Stones kick Prince's ass!") Each song should be evaluated on its own merit. (I say: "While The Stones are an important part of music history, there are lots of Stones songs that are mediocre/sucky and some Prince songs that fucking rule.") 8. Counting Crows never wins. 9. Sometimes you have to strongly defend your song. Sometimes you have to concede, even though your song might be awesome. Pick your battles. A few final notes. To be clear, you are listening to each song. You aren't just listing a song title and skipping to the next song, then the next, until its over. This is a game for people who'd be listening to music anyway. Having said that, you are free to skip ahead at will. Each person's songs are different lengths, and sometimes it's necessary to catch up with your opponent. Or sometimes you just don't want to hear a particular song. IMPORTANT: By "you are free to skip ahead at will" I only mean that you don't have to listen to an entire song. YOU STILL INCLUDE IT IN YOUR LIST, BATTLING AGAINST YOUR OPPONENT'S SONG. You can never actually skip any song that comes up in your rotation. They are all judged, in order, against the other person's songs. No skipping or reshuffling if you think it won't win. You are entirely at the mercy of your music library and your shuffle mechanism. These are really loose rules. You can play to 10, or to 20. You can play for a certain amount of time. You can play until one person has five wins. You can play with two, three, or four players. You can use published lists as the "judge" of which song is best (good for a tiebreaker). You can ban all songs about cheese flavored products. Whatever. Make your own rules. Obviously this is a game for any mp3 player, or iTunes, or whatever - anything that can randomly shuffle your music. |
I am available to play this game from May 21st to May 30th.
Thank you.
13 May 2005
03:31 - So Much Music, So Little Time
Ok the reason
Tofu Hut is linked on the sidebar is because they have an insane amount of links on their site to mp3 blogs, music blogs, audio blogs, etc.
This post is particularily insane with hundreds of links to find free music, subcategorized by genre which could keep you downloading for weeks on end.
I need a bigger hard drive.
12 May 2005
08:26 - For Andy
08:15 - Lake Geneva: You Crossdress, You Pay
05:46 - X is the New Black
Solve for X, meaning I need help picking what color car for Mini deuce.
Icy Blue ?
British Racing Green ?
Black again ?
Union Jack on the hood ?
I just don't know.
No convertable though, those look dumb.
And yes I'm getting the ipod adapter because I'm an
indie-yuppie.
There's also an auxilary audio input option for $40... what does that do ?
Umm, help ?
Comments... on !
11 May 2005
15:27 - Fun with Blasphemy
Make your own, heathens.
here's tom's:
here's mel's:
here's karyn's:
here's mattie's:
07:20 - Tennessee: Sounds Good to Me
Come visit, if for no other reason than the fact I will be modeling my bathroom after this picture:
Stay tuned for excellent May tracklist about Tennessee, coming soon.
Fun facts about the coolest state in the union:
Produces tobacco !
Mountains in the east, highlands in the middle and lowlands in the west !
Named after Cherokee Indian villages called "Tanasi" !
Hottest city for relocation !
State bird is the mockingbird !
State insects are the ladybug and the firefly !
State animal is the raccoon !
Raccoons eat fish and frogs !
Home state of Cybil Shepherd !
05:08 - Announcement
04:37 - The Prime Number Shitting Bear
10 May 2005
08:34 - Unbelievable (both parts)
me: I was just calling to tell you Nashville accepted my scam of a counteroffer so it's finalized now.
my mom: Whoa, I just discovered you don’t go near a heating microwave with a phone. (Muffled noises)
Hang on honey, I just have to kill this ant.
06:57 - Give Yourself Five Points
In the how-well-do-you-know-me game if you have any idea what any part of this email from mel means:
Just expliquer that when we had a kitchen that was no bigger than a breadbox, we used to burn ourselves all the time because we would faire la cuisine while HAMMERED and then the burns would become scabs and they would look amazing and whoever DIDN'T have a burn scab, felt very jalouse of the person who DID have a burn scab. You could perhaps explique how one particular burn on your wrist was very scabby and burniful and so in the middle of an awkward conversation about Fake Larry's ("Fake" Larry because he was initially confused with Old Burnface Larry) dog being horny you interrupted to shove your burn scab in his face and ask "wanna see my burrrrrrrrn?" Also, you can maybe mention that we had kinder surprise burned pirate parrot collection and our favorite was called Old Burnface in honor of your pal Old Burnface Larry (both whom had burnfaces). Also, maybe you shouldn't mention any of this because I see how someone might think it's gross. I mean, Fake Larry was way Gee Ampersand Why and HE thought it was kind of weird. He didn't even FAKE like he wanted to see your burn. Whatever, I meant to type "urn" which is of course, another word for the female anatomy.
Pirates. Burnfaces. Fake Larry. Fake languages. Can't imagine how anyone wouldn't know what we're talking about. Also, I posted this because
a Google search for "Fake Larry" yielded only some lame result about some dude on a guest spot for Larry King which is obviously insufficient.
08 May 2005
04:55 - And Your Second Choice Is...
Google shut down for 15 minutes yesterday. Staying on the information theme today, I tried to remember the last time I used another search engine other than Google. And I
do remember: 2001. Now, asking someone their second favorite search engine is like asking Diet Coke drinkers their second favorite carbonated beverage: there is no answer.
If Google holds such a monopoly on search engines, why aren't they hated like Microsoft and Starbucks ?
Better PR ?
UPDATE: Your night librarian at Ball State University writes to say:
firstly,
i command you to write: second choice search engine? without a doubt it is my friendly librarian!
secondly, google's motto has long been "don't be evil"
they are really good about not abusing their power a la microsoft. they understand that information wants to be free. bill gates is an honorary member of ALA. he and his stupid foundation like to give pcs to public libraries. stink!
maybe if you didn't take the comments feature down i would be able to write this myself.
check it!
04:51 - Reforming the Reformers
The
NYT editorial board cries hypocrisy at news bloggers, accusing them of young, ethically shaky reporting without regard for fact-checking.
Seems to me though, that news bloggers have become popular because they are reporting what the MSM are not-- and effectively enough to have created large, loyal readerships. The grassroots success of these news blogs should be a clue that people may not want to be reading only what the MSM is reporting and they, much like the music industry, need to adapt to the hyper increase in information accessibility.
INFORMATION WANTS TO BE FREE.
06 May 2005
17:35 - Eyebrows
04:18 - And They're Off !
Today, as I'm sure you know, is
International No Pants Day.
Are YOU wearing pants today, loser ?
No Pants Day Anthems:
HereHereAdd No Pants Day as your friend on Myspace !
04:17 - Attention Perverts/Pedophiles
Rentmydaughter.com is finally back online.
Please go here for all your safe and trustworthy child renting needs.
Thank you.
04:13 - Want to Vomit ?
Watch this.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
04:09 - But All of our Kittens are Winners, Really
It's a kitten war !
May the cutest kitty win.
If you find "Fancy Face" and don't laugh, I will come to your house and tear off your socks.
Losingest kitten:
CoCo At the LaptopCuter than
Martin Freeman: this kitty !
04:00 - "Another local" reports...
05 May 2005
05:40 - Much to Lappy's Chagrin
Holland has the day off today. It's some holiday called pinkerdag, and I haven't figured out yet if it has to do with WWII or Jesus. Anyway, as I was reminded, I have been slacking in the cheeseburger posting department.
So here you go.
As I have weddings on the brain because of Meldune and my omg16moredays visit to Afmerita, I've decided that Denny's Beer Barrel Pub will be catering my wedding and instead of a centerpiece, the entire table will share a Beer Barrel Belly Buster. I guess they'll have to make one with plants or something for the vegetarians.
04 May 2005
05:16 - I Am an Asshole (an admission in two parts)
Part I—Yes I Would Love to Date You/Meet You in a Dark Alley
I joined myspace.com at the urging of Ms. Keclik who has just moved to a new town and wants to meet new people but also wanted current friends on her profile. Sure, no problem. Unintended consequence: receiving unintentionally hilarious messages from potential suitors. At or near the top of my list of annoyances sharing space with strollers, chicken, and hair gel is bad grammar. Now I have a bit more flexibility on this because I’ve spent over 2 ½ years communicating mostly with non-native English speakers.
There’s no way to do this without being a total jerk so let’s just read the first message from Rajabu:
How Are You?
I Hope You Are Good And Fine As I Can See From Your Loving Face In The Picture Above.
My Name Is Rajab As You Can Read In My Profile..I Live In Holland..Today Is A Day To Me....Because Am Happy That I Sellected You Among Thousands Of People Who Have Their Profiles On Myspace.com.
I Realy Want You To Became My Friend So That We Can Know Each Other.
I Dont Want To Make You Tired With My First Email Just Visit My Profile Then Reply To Me!.
Hope To Hear From You Soon!{Never Mind About The Distance!}
Thank You I Wish You Good Day!
“Today Is A Day To Me” ? Whatever that even means, one thing is clear: Rajabu is a real romantic and Hopelessly Devoted To Capitalization. We can also see from his profile that Rajabu is looking for “That Woman Who Knows How To take Care Of Her Husband As She Wants To Be Treated” Ah yes, ah yes, makes perfect poetic sense. Rajabu may also have some lost love issues because the headline to his profile reads “I Will Always Love You.” Sounds like we could make a totally intense connection, Rajabu, totally intense.
I didn’t respond but did accept the offer to add him as my friend. This message followed:
Hi dear i took long time to write to you,but i'm ok and i say thank you very much to add me as your friend i'm happy about that.and now i can say that i might be prepared to visit eachother inorder to know everything concerning us ,you are welcome in my heart.
Umm, “prepared to visit each other” ?? Are you serious ? I’m sure he’s nice but you’re moving a little too fast for me there, Rajabu.
Next up on the list of potential suitors is George, or as he has misspelled his name in his profile “Geoge”:
how are u doin and how is your day?its so nice to see your beutifull face and body on the screem. what up. U are hollander u live in paradise. i stay in amsterdam, before and i live in A;dam north. but now i live in Norway. please tell me something about u or holland. hope to hear from u soonest. take care respct
yours George
I think I titled 3 different emails “U are hollander u live in paradise” after receiving that. Geoge followed it up with another, slightly more incoherent message:
ANnie we can be friends why not. am glad to fine u as friend. tell me a little bit of you. you have been to Norway before.
Nope, haven’t been to Norway, Geoge, but glad to see you on my list of buddies. I only wish I could have a profile half as interesting as Geoge’s friend Melanie from a small town near Munich. Needless to say, I've got some pretty stiff competition.
So, dear reader, the chances for hottt dates on myspace are pretty low but pretty hilarious.
On the upside, now instead of responding “I don’t like hair gel” to the why-are-you-single question, I can answer “because I publicly humiliate those who attempt to court me.” Not that either response is the truth but who cares, lying is more fun.
************************************************
Part II—Your Engine is Bigger, but Dumber
For a girl, I complain a lot about other drivers. Maybe it’s because I work in the car industry, maybe it’s because I learned to drive from a man and not a woman, maybe it’s because intelligently aggressive driving is a turn-on, maybe it’s because there are just a lot of bad drivers out there. Who knows. What I do know is some guy who works in Dordrecht would like to deport me this morning. Laissez-moi expliquer…
As I said before a long time ago, the drive to work for me is mostly highway A16 which leads almost directly from the Oostzeedijk to the office. You can actually see the office from the highway as it’s only about a quarter mile from the exit. The two-lane road between the off ramp and the office is always crowded and you usually can’t go more than 30 miles an hour. In my rearview mirror this morning, I see some prick swerving in and out of lanes in his Audi A6 like he was trying to reenact a scene from Ronin. The funny thing is I know this guy didn’t have an emergency because I’d seen him pull this hot move before on numerous occasions. After he had made me slam on the brakes twice, I was like, ok forget this I’m not in the mood today. Through some miraculous car shifting matched only by my Tetris skills, I managed to get my little black water bug directly in front of his car. And sssslllllooowwweeeedddd down. Since the road was too crowded for him to go around me, he decided it was a sufficiently intimidating idea to get as close as physically possible to my cute little bumper without hitting it. This was, of course, when I would ever so slightly touch the brake pedal. Oooooh, this guy was fuming. Red light. Up ahead about 40 feet I see a light flash as a car passes which means the speed cameras are on. Assuming this guy is too pissed off at me to notice the speed cameras, I smile wickedly into the rearview mirror as the light turns green and tear away from the intersection (so I would have plenty of room in the right lane when I make my move). He was right on my tail as I accelerated and about 15 feet before the camera, I quickly dropped it into third, well within the speed limit, and moved to the right lane. Finally seeing his opportunity to pass me, this douche bag floors it and flies past me going at least twice the speed limit-- hitting top speed, oh it was beautiful, just as the camera flashed.
Have a great day, you bastardized yerman sucker.
03 May 2005
06:37 - Uhhhhhhhh
So. Hot.
02 May 2005
10:43 - Music City, USA
Annie's new boss: So someone offers you a job in sunny California and you say, no I want to go to Tennessee ?
Annie: Yes.
ANB: And you've been here and seen what it looks like and still want to go ?
Annie: Yes.
ANB: Ok, tell me when you can move and we'll arrange everything.
whoa, i can't even believe this is really happening...
06:08 - Say Cheese, Kids
Ha. More it's-funny-because-it's-gross pics
fwighere.
01 May 2005
16:01 - Tranquille a la maison
Today was the day after
Queens Day in Holland and it was just so beautiful outside that lappy and I decided to hang out on the porch working on our sunburns. Lots of good music to listen to these days, people, get on it !
So
Mr. Adams hipped Ms. Steel to the new Ryan Adams cd (no relation) which you can
stream online. I really wanted to like it and some songs, like "Magnolia Mountain" and "Let it Ride" are catchy, but eh, it's not as good as Whiskeytown or the first two solo albums.
The I downloaded some tunes from
Stereogum and was rocking out to "She Drives Me Crazy" by the FYC on the balcony in the sunshine. As you can tell, I am also invisible.
I sure do love sunshine, iced tea, and musica... sometimes not being turbo can be kinda fun.
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