Hey there, sports fans. The time stamp doesn't account for time zones so please believe the title in all its empathetic glory. What's the worst thing that could happen at a wedding? Or, rather, pre-wedding? Well, I've just witnessed our dear Joe Millionaire's bride-to-be storm out of the house after having thrown a full glass of red wine at the window and her engagement ring in the trash can. Apparently, she had gone to buy beer we didn't need from a bouncer dude from town who flirts with her on a routine basis. I guess he had offered her 50K quid per year to leave Millionaire for him. Our buddy, the recently outed Mr. Trapp (another American who lived in Yermany when we lived in Holland), had gotten caught twice in a lie for where he and the bride had been and finally came out with it. She saw the scenario as no big deal, I pulled her aside to explain why Millionaire was so upset, and this resulted in the previously stated blowout. Knowing the bride's previous dramatical work, I had already hidden her car keys so she couldn't run off but I guess spare sets are things people keep handy. She grabbed her sack of weed, spouted off about the Americans, and was off to Darby with her Uni (that's college, you Yanks) friends and "people who understand." Now Millionaire is sat outside the conservatory (back porch) smoking fags and bawling his eyes out that his fiancee has just stormed off two days before the wedding without plans to return. Oh, and she also found his wedding speech in a notebook and ripped it to shreds. I tried to stop her before leaving but the shrieking and hysterics won out in the end. I guess having lived back in the US for almost a year now I'd forgotten what it was like with these two. Hopefully we'll have a wedding in two days-- the shoes she got the bridesmaids are fabulous. Love. Love is strange.
Kelli at College Library said...
wtf?
how does this tale end?
annie said...
happily ever after, natch.
she went to cool off and smoke some doobies and then came back about 4:30a and they made up. about an hour before she came home, i was consoling millionaire after he said that his life would end because she would never come back, he'd just have to immerse himself in work again, and he could never love another. he was sobbing uncontrollably... even millionaires get the blues, i guess. after she came back, they ended up talking everything out and the wedding went off without a hitch (which, to me, means i didn't trip on anything wearing fancy shoes and walking down the aisle unescorted).
fin.
Kelli at College Library said...