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Bethlehem Steel

Failing A Little Less Each Time. 

17 June 2005

05:37 - On New Jack Swing

Stereogum posed the question, what is the worst/most embarrassing cd you ever bought? As usual the comments are worth reading because there are definitely some winners in there. It's time now, dear BS readers, to let you know about what the 12-year-old aklaver loved.

Friends, it is called New Jack Swing.

You see, in seventh and eighth grade, 2 of my 3 sisters [well done, bex] and I, though brought up in suburbia, were thoroughly convinced we were black. On my first day of school in eighth grade, I remember exactly what I wore: purple jeans, a looney tunes t-shirt, a Charlotte Hornets windbreaker, and, yes people, my pride and joy: a pair of Deon Sanders shoes. Did it stop there? No friends. Despite having long hair, the bottom 3 inch section above where the hairline meets the neck was completely shaved. If I was feeling creative, I would shave lines or lightning bolts or my initials into this palette of rebellion. I shaved lines into the hair coming around the front part of the ear. And the bangs. Good lord the bangs. Two sections, always. The bottom portion rolled into a perfect circle with the curling iron and set meticulously halfway down my forehead. The top section was rolled backwards and then-- dear, sweet Jesus-- FANNED to one side (the right side, duh) and tightly secured with Aussie Scrunch Spray. Smells like grapes! Now guys, I know this sounds really hot but sorry to disappoint because I was already dating someone. Every suburban wigger needs a black boyfriend and I was no exception. His name was Marvin and he would call something like 57 times a day, always during dinner when we weren't allowed to answer the phone. I will admit at this point that, though our phone love was totally intense, I never actually met Marvin. One time after a softball game, he was pointed out to me across the parking lot. Now, still to this day whenever the phone rings and the person doesn't leave a message, the girls will say, hey Annie, Marvin called.
Assholes.

But the music. Well, I certainly loved Tevin Campell, what a heartthrob. Color Me Badd rocked my angry adolescent world. I UNDERSTAND THE PLIGHT OF THE BLACK MAN. Seriously, what is wrong with me. Other all-time favs included:

Boyz II Men
ABC
BBD
Wreckx-N-Effect (is in effect and I'm the wrecker)
SWV
Bobby Brown
En Vogue
Jodeci

Oh man, did we love Jodeci. "Forever My Lady" and "Stay" were probably the first songs I ever loved. So that's my very long-winded answer to the "most embarrassing cd you ever bought" question: Jodeci's "Forever My Lady"
K-C, Jo-Jo, you'll always have a place in my heart.

Ok, who wants to play a game?

If you can tell me what "ABC," "BBD," and "SWV" stand for, you will receive not only public congratulations but something else to be determined. I'm going to France in a couple hours so you can also choose your own prize. I'm not mailing any frog's legs, though.


Blogger Matt said...

Another Bad Creation, Bel Biv Devoe, and Sisters With Voices, schmobvs.  


Blogger annie said...

i hear beyonce on the radio...

congrmatts, what do you want from france for your prize?  


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